The family has made it through another holiday without Jennifer here. It's been almost 2 years and it's bizarre how it still doesn't feel completely real that she is gone. I keep expecting to get a phone call from her saying, "What are you doing today?" I miss her voice, which time has faded from my memory too much. I remember that when she spoke, it was sort of sing-song like Alice from Twilight, but I wish I could hear it just once more.
I have to admit that I was very disappointed that the next trial has been postponed until April. Life right now is a series of checkpoints for us. We are just trying to make it to the next one, and when things are changed it's extremely disappointing. I know in the long run, it's better for the lawyers to be prepared; we certainly don't want to deal with anymore appeals than we have to. Five more trials at this point really puts a strain on trying to live a normal life.
I'm so lucky to have the friends in my life that I do. They love, support, adapt and carry me through this all. I've changed a lot and I've lost some friends along the way. This is hard to deal with and I appreciate the time that they invested in me. I'm sorry for the friendships lost but I valued them deeply. I appreciate even more the ones that are still here. So many people say, "You are so strong...you're amazing...you represent your family so well." The truth is I die inside sometimes a thousand times a day in silence. I have children to care for and responsibilities. I have one friend who is very dear to me. She's the one that says, "Please cry. I need you to, so I know you're okay. You have to cry with me, please." That day was the start of healing for me. Friends like this should have monuments or holidays dedicated to them or impressive titles. The best I can come up with is "Angels". You know who you are...thank you. xxxooo
Greetings - my name is Brenda Benner, former director of Next Step Center. I recently found this blog as I was attempting to keep up with what was happening with the defendants. I want to let your entire family know that I think of you and pray for you often. I pray for strength for each of you as you walk and continue to face into this horrible journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteJoy,
ReplyDeleteCan you contact me offline? I'm the VP of a victims group, Nationally, that fights against changing the sentence of Juvenile killers sentenced to life w/o parole.
I am planning on working to fight for our rights in the Pennsylvania state legislature. I saw your story on the news this morning, and wanted you to know we exist.
THanks
Bobbi
My blog is also on Blogspot,
A voice for victims of Juveniles Sentenced to Life without Parole
http://victimsofjlwop.blogspot.com/
I found this blog today, Aug 23, 2012. I have shared it on Facebook from across the USA, to the UK, Mexico, Denmark, Canada, Australia, the Middle East, Africa, South America, to regular folks, Singers/song writers, App developers for Ipad, business owners, Producers, Founders of many messages and magazines etc.. I will not stop until Jennifers' story is heard around the world and then some. I will continue to share among those of us who serve the special needs community and strive to do the right things. We will check back and see how you are doing, God Bless you and your family and friends!
ReplyDeletePlease know that We care and pray each and every day..
~~Lori Dean~~
Thank you Lori! We appreciate the support!
Deleteno disrespect, but she wasnt laughing. stop spreading lies about my family please, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI have spread no lies. This was witnessed by the reporters in the courtroom. How they choose to deliver the news is their job, not mine.
Deletejoy, my heart breaks for you guys every time jennifer crosses my mind..which lately is everyday. I didnt know her, but when her smiling face filled my television screen on the news segment I knew that I couldnt forget it. Ive followed the case and I pray with each sentence your heart gets a little more peace. I know for myself that it is calming to know one less monster is going to be free.
ReplyDeleteXoxo, elizabeth
Thank you Elizabeth!
DeleteI was shocked and saddened when I first heard about Jennifer in the newspaper online two years ago. Today, I was just checking the Greensburg papers, searching for any news on what the result of any trials were. I was afraid these animals might get off on some sob story, but I see they are not being treated lightly. I can imagine how hard it has been to go through the years of trials. Her story touched my heart and I do think about her from time to time. I think what I remember most are the things I've read about her life, maybe the best way to honor her is to remember all the good things about her, about her life.
ReplyDeleteThanks Steve! I'm going to make a commitment to keep updating more regularly. It's been hard to do so.
DeleteMy heart broke as I watched Jennifer's story on ID's Frenemies. Words can not express the sadness I feel to know that there's such evil in our world. It's so sickening. I am so sorry for the loss of this beautiful woman. May she rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteHi my name is Sean. I am 39 year old black male who has a learning disability and did called mentallyretarded during my life . I have followed Jennifer's story ever since it came out. I too have always struggled and had astrong desire to have friends. I can so relate to her. She had the same type of smile that I have. When I save her smiling picture I had such affection for her and I think about her each day. She seemed like a wonderful person I would have liked to have known her send been her friend. My heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteI just saw the story of your sister's death on 'Frenemies'. I was looking up what happened to the killers when I came across your blog. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Losing a loved one is horrible, but this is just beyond words. Best wishes to you all.
ReplyDeleteThis is a heartbreaking story and I know my post is several years after the fact, but just know that Jennifer is remembered even by people who never knew her. Keep her memory alive on this page, there isn't enough awareness about the hate crimes committed against people with disabilities. The statistics are sobering.
ReplyDeleteI remember stumbling on to this case about a year or two ago and came across it again recently and listened to some of the podcasts. I'm deeply sadden that you lost your sister. Seeing those photos of her sweet smile brings me tears that these monsters took her innocent life. May you and your family continue to heal and live in peace and remembrance of Jennifer. Just remember she's by your side even if you can't see her. I too have a learning disability and am not letting it stop me from living happy and somewhat of a normal life. I also have gained and lost some of my friends along the way. Don't give up and keep living and keep looking on with the good memories of Jennifer. Xoxo Meladee
ReplyDelete